Toxic people always show unnecessary drama. They are often the driving force behind a conflict. They drive down morale in the workplace. They negatively impact the emotional well-being of those who have to deal with them. They are also known as negative people or difficult people. I will share fifteen tricks on how to save yourself from toxic people.
Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that the toxic people have on those around them. While others gain satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. The worst part is, that it can be tempting to give toxic people the same treatment they give to others. But definitely this never works. They are not capable of much self-reflection and turnabout only makes them see themselves as victims. The best way to deal with difficult or negative people is to use the following technique. These techniques are practiced by intelligent people.
#1 Set Limits
Toxic people are bad news. They decay in their problems and they want others to join in. This makes them feel better about themselves. People always feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as insensitive or rude. But there is a nice line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. You can avoid this by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. For example, if negative people were smoking, would you sit there all day inhaling the second-hand smoke? Definitely not. You would distance yourself and you should do the same with them.
#2 Establish Boundaries
This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel that because they work or live with someone. They have no way to control the chaos. This could not be further from the truth. Once you have found your way to grow up over a person, you will begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don’t. If you let things happen naturally you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. But if you set boundaries and decide when and where you will involve a toxic person, you can control much of the chaos.
#3 Ignore In Some Cases
Before you put this strategy to work you have to consider some factors. You have to learn the dynamics of ignoring a toxic person. A toxic individual seeks attention all the time, even when it’s an occasion to celebrate another person or their accomplishments. They will get loud and they will interrupt other people. If you choose to ignore them make sure there are plenty of other people around. Because sometimes if you have been submissive to the toxic person for a long time and you find yourself alone with them then ignoring them will not work. You can only ignore toxic people when you are in public. Because in public they tend to hide aggressive relation. So they are less likely to become angered for being ignored.
#4 Don’t Share Secrets With Gossipers
Toxic people share deep secrets with others just to seem momentarily interesting. They also judge or gossip about people behind their backs. If you meet somebody who does this, don’t be fooled into thinking that they are gossiping with you because they like you or trust you. They will just as easily betray your trust. Toxic people will often talk to you about someone in the hopes that you will agree with them. Then they will go and tell the other person what you said. This creates friction between two persons leaving the toxic person in control. It is a divisive and manipulative method of gaining friends and power in a social group. Don’t fall for it.
#5 Recognize And Ignore Insults
Toxic people love to insult others in a subtle way. People like this will attempt to disguise insults with compliments. They may say things like “I would never have the confidence to wear that.” or “You do well when you try.” Although these may sound like kind statements, they are dropping little seeds of doubt in you mind by putting conditions on your capabilities. Learn to hear the truths behind the veil of compliments and then ignore them. You will know you have grown when you actually laugh at what they say. But just be careful because laughing tends to make them angry.
#6 Allow Liars To Trip Themselves Up
Toxic people will often lie compulsively not just to others but to themselves. They will often perform mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their lies are reality. Recounting a true event is relatively easy but lies are actually very hard to keep up. Keeping track of a bunch of made up stories is difficult and liars end up exposing themselves over time by contradicting themselves with other lies.
#7 Don’t Fall Prey To Pity
Toxic people use pity as another form of manipulation. They even make their victims feel bad for finally standing up for themselves. Intelligent people are able to recognize self-pity and the unique way that it is used by toxic people. I am not saying that it is horrible to feel sorry for yourself at times but what I am saying is that toxic people use this as a way to regain control. They will continue to blame others for all the issues in their life as long as there is someone willing to listen to them. Avoiding self-pitying people and refusing to justify their apathy will stop you from being sucked into their world of self-perpetuating failure.
#8 Stand Up To Bullies
While most decent people will help the helpless, defend the vulnerable and assists those who need it. Toxic people prey on anybody they consider to be weak. It could be somebody who is a little shy, socially awkward or even somebody who lacks physical prowess. Toxic people will bully and take advantage of anybody who they think won’t stand up to them which is why it is so crucial to stand up to bullies not just for yourself but for others around you. Standing up to bullying is perhaps the most important way of handling a negative person.
#9 Stay Aware Of Emotions
You can not stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it is happening. Maintaining emotional distance requires awareness. Sometimes you will find yourself in a situations where you will need to rearrange and select the best way to move forward. When it comes to dealing with a toxic person it is very important to assess and know your emotional state. This way if you are really on edge you can avoid contact rather than being pushed into that you will regret.
#10 Focus On Solutions
Negative people are often the first to place blame when something goes wrong. They do this to free themselves from having to make any effort to right the wrong. It is very easy to hate stuff and blame people but it is much harder to make changes. Intelligent people will dodge the power of a toxic person by looking for a solution to a problem rather than just focusing on the guilty party. When you help to make something right whether you had anything to do with it or not. It shows that you are compassionate, protective and loyal. This will always beat negative people.
#11 Squash Negative Self-Talk
Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you but your self-talk can either intensify negativity or help you move past it. Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. Make a conscious effort to avoid negative self-talk at all costs.
#12 Spend Time With Loyal Friends
It is important to develop a strong support network of loyal and trustworthy people. Intelligent people know that they don’t have to be everybody’s friend and not everybody is deserving of their friendship. In turn they reward their friend’s loyalty and trust by showing that it works both ways. True friendship and fidelity is one of the rarest and most valuable commodities you will ever in life. So don’t allow this to be corrupted by toxic, negative and untrustworthy people.
#13 Don’t Waste Energy On Pointless Conflict
Some toxic people have a need to start conflict with anybody who is willing to accept their invitation to mess. There is often no point to the arguments that toxic people start. There is no desire to have a healthy debate or to come to a consensus. Intelligent people are quick to recognize this. Your best response is to simply disengage or to ignore the attempts altogether.
#14 Stay Goal Oriented
Negative people can be very distracting. They can cause you to lose mental and emotional focus when they create drama or cause problems. Do your best to shake it off. Instead keep steering things back to your goal or the problem that needs to be solved. Toxic people are many things but most of them are not stupid. Once they realized you are unaffected by them they will typically back off.
#15 Remember The Right To Be Happy
It is fully within your rights to be a happy person who associates with emotionally healthy people regardless of whatever reasons a toxic person has for their behavior. While it’s nearly impossible to ignore what others think of you. You don’t have to compare yourself to others. You can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. This way no matter what toxic people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
Dealing with toxic people is something we all have to confront in our lives from time to time. This individuals seem to find a way of worming their way into people’s lives and creating drama and chaos in order to manipulate others to suit their needs. But you don’t have let them ruin your life and hinder your progress. Implementing these techniques will allow you to handle difficult and toxic people more effectively and decrease the likelihood of their ill effects on you.
What do you think? How Do you deal with difficult and toxic people? Let us know in the comment below.